Why get married when you could be happy?

I’m sitting here listening to an interesting discussion at the Sydney Writers Festival (2012).

I’m listening to a panel of very interesting people discussing same-sex relationships and the concept of monogamy vs fidelity and lifetime commitments such as marriage. The session is called “why get married when you can be happy?”

Once again what they are saying makes complete sense.

Marriage is an “unnatural” institution brought about largely by religion and sanctified by the state with a specific definition in mind, and by and large, we treat people who are not in a married state as being outside the norm and therefore “not normal”.

I would argue that the “non married” monocle applies not only to the gay and lesbian community but also to all single people.

This attitude is of course completely wrong and, given this day and age, ludicrous in the extreme. However the world at large is  dominated by a large middle class population which is largely in a “married” state.

I will, in a separate post, at a separate tie speak to  the issue of single vs couples…

Anyway, you might ask, what is the difference in definition between fidelity vs monogamy?

Monogamy is a state of entering a single relationship over a period of time… we color that definition with the flavor of  “lifetime” commitments but in its simplest form it refers to one single commitment at a time.

versus fidelity which means being faithful or loyal to a partner….

in either case we imagine growing old with the same person…

Given my time on this earth I’m inclined to think that who we are at 20 years of age and who we are at 50 or even 70 years of age, is not the same person with the same needs … and that our relationships at these different stages of life might be completely different….

so where does that leave us?

If we view this argument purely on an academic perspective then we should all grow a boatload of additional tolerance towards those with the alternate lifestyle .. and I mean it for both sides of the coin.

We all live side by side in this world and if we’ve learned anything in this world its that a difference to the norm doesn’t make for wrongness…

…. and though currently majority rules, the heterosexual population needs to make the biggest adjustment to their thinking .. there is room for us all in this life…


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